Several thousand teenagers are expected to descend on the Gold Coast this and next week in the annual STD swap meet called ‘Schoolies’ and the key to picking up this year could just be having a little bit extra mobile data.
However a local underage man has this week downloaded not only Tinder but also Bumble and Happn in attempt to get some at Schoolies 2017. Arriving at their Gold Coast accomodation, Sam Turner had maxed out with families mobile data within 30 minutes with a poor return of only 5 average matches. The 17 yr old now lives in fear of repercussions from his father back in Sydney, who can no longer access the Sydney Morning Herald on his mobile on his commute to work due to his son’s selfish actions and is visibly furious. “Tinder fucking schminder. How about he grows a pair and actually speaks to em.” “Back in my day we had to call the house and speak to their dad first on the phone first before we could even talk to them. Let alone get a date. The kids these days are fucking soft” said Allan Turner in an interview with the Low Carb Local this morning. “They will never know the fear and feel the trembling in the fingers when you had to pick up the landline.” The Low Carb Local
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June 2018
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